SELF MADE - brainstorm

When I was young, I heard a song. This song was loud like noise and the voices powerful; And I longed to join them.

The song told me what I could be. Or rather, that I could be anything, and seemed to open a world of possibilities. It told me that my life was about me, and that nothing else mattered, besides me being happy. So I believed.

I fell for a fantasy, creating worlds in my head where I was the king, I was the girl who got the boy and I was the one everyone wanted to be. I was to be the most beautiful, the most talented, the one who made heads turn. I wanted to be the fire to light my world, but in turn, my world would burn.

In order to impress other people, I made sure they did not know me. I wanted to be the center of attention and control what people would see. I couldn’t sleep, because I was convinced my identity was at stake. After all, the hero doesn’t sleep when there are worlds to create.

I forgot about God, so I had to fill his shoes. With pride as a shield, I fought for everything I was terrified to lose.

And the song became louder.

I treated my family like they were in my way, a nuisance on my path to glory. I used friendships for what I could gain, they mattered only if they played their role in my story.

I demanded affirmation because I thought they owed me, I paid for satisfaction and instead it broke me.

My desire was to be adored, to be praised for what I could do. So what I could do became most important, and I made sure everyone knew.

When God crossed my mind, I came to him with my hands full. Presenting him with everything I thought I was, and everything I could do.

It wasn't enough.

Not skinny enough, so I stopped eating. Not talented enough, so I stopped singing. ` I was addicted to performance, so I obsessed when I thought I could be the best. I overworked in school because being common wasn't an option, and I was determined to stand out among the rest. I fed loneliness with lust, taking something that was not mine and ripping it from the protection of God’s design. I thought a world where I felt wanted was one I had to make, so I challenged God's goodness and held out my heart for the world to take.

I slowly turned inward, more and more each day. Self-absorption blinded me to reality, and the song drowned out what others had to say.

What good was I, if I couldn't be great? My search for my value had left me in chains. The song that once sounded so pretty, had silenced my own. So my world crumbled around me, and I sat alone on my throne.

I thought I was building my life, putting together the pieces of who I was meant to be. But the pressure was too much and all these things cracked under the weight of me.

I had cursed myself to live my life alone and afraid, I hung my hope on the chance to say, "Look what I've done! I am self-made." RE-MADE - brainstorm

I heard a new song, and it was gentle like a whisper, and the voices were powerful like those from heaven. And I longed to join them.

Once again, unable to sleep, I was alone in the dark. But I was joined by this song, each voice singing its part. And one voice alone stood out among the rest, the voice of my God, calling me to rest.

He tells me I'm loved and that He has something for me. But it's not on my terms and it won't make me king. He calls me his daughter, the greatest of claims, and all He wants is the heart I tried so hard to give away. And I believed.

I simply say, "Okay. Now what do I do?" and He said, "You can go to sleep my child, I promise I have you."

For the first time, the noise began to fade, and the gentle song grew louder as I let go of my self-made power.

And the song grew louder.

This is it. The story that tells where I've come from; where I've been. But this story isn't mine, it's just a story I am in.

I am here because God claims my soul to be His, and I proclaim that my life will be His too. I have searched but found no hope in who I can be or what I can do.

The desires I have, even those given by Him, do not surpass their maker. They don’t get to win. For if I am created, and believe my creator is powerful and loving, then I don’t need to create my own world and I don't want to be king.

For even when I hated Him, He chose to pursue, and He used His own people to love me, many of whom are in this room. And there are others in this room, and they are here for you. To sing the song that God gave them so that you can hear it too.

This is our offering, to give back the life he gave. To live like a creature who knows they’ve been saved. To know that it’s worth it, to give up this world. For the song of this world fades when there is truth to be heard.

As for me, I choose to sing. And this is a sign, a sign that I've been redeemed. And each of you can testify, because you all have sung with me! So let us join God's people to worship our king! Now you all know, and you've all seen, how deep, how wide, how far, and how high is the Savior's love for you and for me. So let us lift our hands, let us dance and sing, unafraid.

"Look what God has done! I am remade."